Haunted
by Avarwen
Summary: His instincts roared within him, raging against one another, telling him to flee from... to go to that gaze...But he could do neither of those things.He could do nothing but sit, frozen... Waiting for whatever would come next... YAOI, Songfic


A/N: Delving into the Darker side of my imagination... Then again, I suppose to some stories I've written, this is just a walk in the dog park...

Well this turned out darker than I expected.

I've been thinking about writing a new songfic for a while now... just didn't think it'd be like this.

Fairly dark and lots of angst and inner turmoil.

There's **RAPE **(...sorta... it depends on how you look at it I guess... I don't know, you need to read the story to understand) and **YAOI **(Male/Male) in here for a start (though not _entirely _explicit) so if you can't handle those, then get the hell outta here, This is **_not _**a good place for you to be, and reading ahead may very well traumitize you for the rest of your life.

Okay, well, maybe not, but why take the risk?

For the rest of you made of darker things, I thought I'd better inform you **I DON'T OWN INUAYSHA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE ANIME/MANGA! **I don't make any money off of them either... And the song is "Haunted" by Evanescence, so that belongs to them.

I own nothing except the story itself, so don't take that!

**Reviews**: Welcome, I look foreward to any input you might have.

**Flames**: Welcome, but I warn you, if you go too far off the top, it's very likely I'm going to start laughing hysterically at you. -- I don't take flames very seriously. If you don't like the story, then don't ever put yourself through the ordeal of reading it again. Constructive criticism is more than welcome though.

**Rips**: Unwelcome. Come on people, if you're posting a rip, then you really need to get a life! Unless you've got some sort of personal vendetta against me (pretty hard since most people seem to like my stories, and I haven't really done anything to anyone on here...) then you've got no reason to post one of these. If you don't like the story, then flame me for hells sake, but Rips, while amusing, are fairly irritating, and I'd rather deal with as few of those as possible.

Okay, I've given you guys warnings, disclaimers and a whole lotta other shit in between, so if you're still with me, remember, you're reading this story at your own risk.

No one's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to move on!

You can still turn back, if you think you can't handle this...

Still with me?

Then I guess it's time to give you the story...

Haunted

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside_

Inuyasha settled back slightly into the boughs of the Goshinboku tree, his eyes half-lidded and dull in his misery.

Just a few days.

He'd told Kagome and the other's he'd be gone for just a few days.

It had been more than a week.

And, in truth, he hadn't gone that far away, had been keeping an eye on them from right under their noses just in case, but he hadn't gotten close enough for them to notice his presence.

He wanted to be alone right now.

He needed to be alone.

He needed to think.

Though why the hell he was doing that here...

This was the spot of his worst nightmares.

This was the spot where everything bad seemed to happen...

Yet he couldn't leave...

He couldn't bring himself to leave...

Because maybe he'll see them again...

_(I know you're still there)_

And he could almost _feel _his hands on him still...

Something shifted in the underbrush, and immediately Inuyasha's head snapped up, his golden eyes fixing on the spot, his whole body going tense with excitement...

And fear...

His body and heart confused as to whether or not he actually wanted to see them again.

Not that what he had wanted had ever mattered.

Especially not to him.

_Watching me  
Wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you  
Loving you  
I won't let you pull me down_

For long moments nothing happened, but Inuyasha did not dare relax for even an instance.

He could feel the pull of that gaze, wherever it was, calling him to it, and sending chills racing up and down his spine.

He shivered, unable to pinpoint the location of the gaze, feeling his pulse start to quicken slightly as his instincts roared within him, raging against one another, telling him to flee from... to go to that gaze...

But he could do neither of those things.

He could do nothing but sit, frozen...

Waiting for whatever would come next...

_Hunting you I can smell You - alive  
Your heart pounding in my head_

The scent of arousal and lust mixed together in an intoxicating haze, combining with his own fear and want, making his head spin as he stared keenly at the surrounding trees, the leaves causing dappled shadows to flicker on the forest floor, fooling him into believing they were more than they were.

Movement then, a shift amongst those shadows, and Inuyasha's breath hitched as he watched the figure emerge from behind the trees...

He all but fell from the tree in his distraction as he stared at the intruder, his golden eyes wide and his heart pounding in his ears, mixing with the faint sound of the other's heartbeat.

Inuyasha's breathing quickened as he stood now on the ground, his back mere inches away from the tree, gazing across the small clearing at the figure that had haunted his dreams...

And his nightmares.

'Sesshomaru...'

_Watching me  
Wanting me_

His brother said nothing, just stared coldly at him for a moment, before a small smile played across his lips, making Inuyasha's breathing hitch again at the desire there... the want...

He had seen it before...

On the day this nightmarish reality had all begun...

He had seen that same look in his brother's eyes...

Right before--

_I can feel you pull me down_

Inuyasha was jerked from his reminiscant nightmare, back into the one of reality as he was suddenly slammed back against the tree with enough force to knock the air out of his lungs.

He gasped as Sesshomaru crushed their lips together tightly, forcing his tongue inside, plundering the smaller hanyou's mouth as Inuyasha's claws dug uselessly into the bark of the tree behind him, before, never breaking the kiss, Sesshomaru began to pull him toward the ground, laying him down among the grass and roots and then moving to straddle him...

_Saving me  
Raping me  
Watching me..._

Inuyasha cried out uselessly, uncertain if he was wordlessly begging his brother to stop or continue, his fear and lust battling one another within his mind.

He arched in pain and pleasure as Sesshomaru pushed inside of him, whimpering incoherent pleas to his brother, his nails scrabbling and tearing open the flesh of his back in their haste to push him away... to pull him closer... Each thrust offering him a haven from his horrid nightmares of this moment... but shoving him further and further into the reality of the situation... of how helpless he really was against his brother...

And this was just like the last time...

Only this time he had some sort of idea what to expect...

This time, he actually had some idea of what was going to happen...

This time he actually wanted it...

Sort of...

_Watching me  
Wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down_

He shuddered as he felt Sesshomaru release inside of him, the sensation forcing him to follow, and making him shudder in both revulsion and pleasure.

He slumped against the ground, his wrists aching faintly from the bone-breaking grip Sesshomaru had placed upon them, remaining in the position above his head even as Sesshomaru released them, pulled back slightly and looked down at him, his eyes half-lidded and unreadable.

Inuyasha shivered...

The elder demon's eyes flickered slightly at the action, and that same cruel smirk from before returned, making the hanyou shudder all the more as Sesshomaru leaned in and kissed him once again...

_Fearing you  
Loving you_

Inuyasha sighed as he gathered up his clothes, placing them on as carefully as he could, before pausing a moment, staring off in the direction Sesshomaru had left, his expression confused, angry... hurt.

He didn't know anymore.

He didn't know what to feel.

How to deal with this...

He didn't want this to keep happening... Not really anyway... At least, he didn't think he did...

But then why did he keep coming here-- waiting for Sesshomaru to come back?

Why did he give into his brother so easily?

Was he truly that weak?

Was he truly that frightened of the older demon?

Or...

Had his body convinced his mind that... Sesshomaru loved him...?

That he loved him back...

_I won't let you pull me down_

Casting one last glance after his brother, Inuyasha turned to head back toward the village, knowing the others would be waiting for him.

They might be worried.

They would probably ask questions.

Questions that he wouldn't answer.

Questions that he _couldn't_ answer... Because they wouldn't understand.

And anything he said to them about this... _thing _might completely destroy their pitiful little group, that was torn enough as it is.

He couldn't let that happen.

So he'd keep lying to them, keep saying everything was alright, and keep it to himself.

Keep hoping that some day he'll get over this... figure out exactly what it was Sesshomaru wanted from him, and until then...

Keep coming back here and waiting.

Alone.

Confused.

Haunted by his brother's touches and memories...

Owari

Glossary

Goshinboku - The Gods tree that Inuyasha was pinned to.

Hanyou - Half-Demon

Youkai - Demon

Owari - The End

A\N: Well how was that? I bet there's a bunch of people gathering up pitchforks and torches and getting ready to come after me now...

For those who aren't, hope you enjoyed the story!

Got nothing else to say really...

Bet you're all glad of that!

Oh! Pocky to all of the readers who made it this far!-- You guys really are made of tougher stuff than I thought...

--If you didn't like this pairing, there's another version of this story where there is no actual pairing... no Sesshomaru or anything, just... well I don't know, whoever your sick imagination conjures up.


End file.
